The past is just a ghost of the future
by mewkiki11
Summary: Hijikata finds out about Gintoki's past, hurt and betrayed he does only one thing he can...


I've always wanted to do a GinHiji story, sorry if i rambled on and on, but there is eventual smut. in the second chapter maybe. i apologise in advance for any grammatical/spelling errors i have yet to find a beta. xD

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintoki or Hijikata unfortunately, they belong to Hideaki Sorachi and i love him for it 3

enjoy!

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><p>Hijikata stared out towards the horizon; the fading sunset tinged his features a pale orange and an unlit cigarette dangled loosely between his lips. He was in an empty park which sat next to an still lifeless river, the wind played with the swings faintly making a "chink" sound, and the willow trees teased the waters edge with their branches.<p>

Hijikata's stormy blue eyes focused on everything and nothing at the same time, there was only one thing on his mind: Gintoki is the Shiroyasha. At first all he wanted was more information on the Joui but then he came across a man known as the Shiroyasha tearing through the battle field in a rain of blood, brilliant white hair and crimson eyes, Hijikata could only think of one person who matched that description.

Hijikata didn't know what to do; he was confused yet angry at the same time, why hadn't Gintoki told him? Although it wasn't something that could be so casually mentioned in a conversation, to a Shinsengumi vice commander as well.

"Shit…"

Hijikata threw his cigarette into the river and watched it disappear; the sun was sinking lower now, orange turning into a deep red and casting soft shadows on the ground. Hijikata knew what he had to do, it was his duty as the vice commander of the Shinsengumi…but…

But what? What was it that he felt towards the samurai? He couldn't put a label on their relationship, they were too alike. In thoughts, actions, emotions. Although Gintoki was better at expressing his feelings, Hijikata knew they had an inevitable attraction. He just didn't want to admit it, to himself or to Gintoki.

He lit another cigarette, the orange glow of the lighter illuminated his features for a second and he inhaled quietly, feeling the taste of his beloved tobacco.

Gintoki, Gintoki…Gintoki, his name was going round and round his head, The way he clung to him asking him to stay the night. The way he smelt of sweets and strawberry milk, the way his hair tickled him while they snuggled on a cold winter's night. It was over now, he knew it.

The sun was now gone leaving only remnants of pink. Night was now settling in and the first of the stars could faintly be seen.

Hijikata felt a presence behind him; he touched his katana ever so slightly. Even without turning round he knew it was Gintoki. He stayed silent waiting for Gintoki to speak, to explain. But there was nothing that could be said to remedy the situation. Hijikata had found out about Gintoki's past, their relationship could never be the same again.

"Hijikata…"

That one word spoken ever so softly, Gintoki reached out to touch Hijikata but Hijikata's eyes widened and he slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me." Hijikata's voice was coarse his eyes cold and devoid of emotion.

In a flash Hijikata had his katana out and pinned Gintoki to a nearby tree, his eyes were unwavering and his mouth set into a grimace, he looked at Gintoki carefully. To him Gintoki had always been a man of many emotions: kind, gentle, lazy, cocky, and then there were times when he was fighting an enemy his personality would change, his eyes would become cold, cruel and unmerciful. At those times he would truly look like a demon, Hijikata didn't want to admit it but it was those times that he would be afraid of Gintoki.

"What's this? Pinning me to a tree? I didn't think you'd be into this sort of thing, in a public place no doubt." Gintoki attempted a half hearted joke, looking away from Hijikata's penetrating gaze.

"Shut up." Anger was evident on Hijikata's face but also pain and betrayal.

"Why… why you…" Hijikata looked away momentarily. "Why didn't you tell me..?"

"It wasn't something I could just mention" Gintoki said softly.

Hijikata looked back at him, his emotionless mask back on.

"You know what I have to do…It's my duty."

"Then do it." Gintoki looked at him seriously his gaze unwavering, as if to further his point he held onto the katana and bought it inches away from his neck. Hijikata hesitated only focusing on the blade.

"Do it Hijikata." Gintoki bought the tip to the side to his neck causing a small cut to form.

"HIJIKATA!"

Hijikata swiped the blade in a fast motion, focusing on the dark hue of the sky.

"I'm sorry…"


End file.
